When Justin Clifford and his colleagues started speaking with people about their experiences with grief, one thing caught them off-guard. “In probably 90 per cent of these conversations, people started talking about their employer,” says Justin Clifford, CEO of Bereave. “It turns out that that work experience, the manager experience, the policy, the leave…play an incredibly significant role in the grieving journey.”
That’s been the reality for Shannon McShane-Reed as well. Her husband died three years ago, and her 17-year-old son, Ethan, died in 2019. She also faced the loss of her brother when she was in her early 30s and her mother when she was young. As a result, as the Senior Vice President of Group Benefits at Penmore, a member of Benefits Alliance, she approaches her work with the sensibility of someone who has experienced loss too soon and too often. She wants employers to understand that a colleague who returns to work after bereavement leave is “a totally new employee.”
That understanding helps employers support team members through the grieving process. It helps the company to function better, too. As Canadian HR Reporter stated in the May 2025 article, “Grief in the workplace: Why Canadian employers should step up,” unsupported grief in the workplace costs U.S. companies up to US$225.8 billion, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).
Clifford and McShane-Reed shared practical strategies for employers during a recent Benefits Alliance Voice podcast, The Hidden Cost of Ignoring Grief in the Workplace. Here, we recap key takeaways to help employers strengthen their performance as part of a grieving employee’s support network.
Don’t put bereavement on a timeline. Some employees want to dive right back into work. Others will need days, weeks, months, or longer—or may find that long after they thought they’d gotten through it, grief hits them all over again. When management and HR are uninformed, they default to a time-off policy “that just isn’t adequate for what someone actually needs. And that’s where the experience starts to crumble,” says Clifford.
Try to accommodate shifts in schedule. McShane-Reed spoke of how every morning begins with that emotional moment when she again realizes that her husband isn’t there, that her son Ethan’s room is empty. “So, I am not the person who wants a 9 a.m. full-force meeting. If at all possible, start me later.”
Use policy as a guide, not the rule. “It’s important to say, these are the policies we have, but we’re going to be there and talk to you each in your own scenarios,” McShane-Reed says. Then carry that through.
Normalize grief, because everyone experiences it. McShane-Reed points to the generation that’s entering the workforce now. They’ve lived through COVID and are more attuned to mental health than previous generations. They may have lost friends to suicide. It’s a mistake to think that younger people have not yet been exposed to loss. “They have higher expectations out of work than ever before, and they won’t tolerate it if you don’t handle [grief] properly. They’re going to be gone really fast.” She wants to see employers’ approach to bereavement come “from a place of compassion and caring about your people,” adding that such an approach will improve their employee retention rate.
Cultivate a culture where it’s OK to talk about loss. Employers, managers and coworkers can be at a loss about what to say to a grieving colleague. McShane-Reed has some suggestions. Ask the name of the person who passed. Ask to be told about them. “It’s not going to upset me. It might come out visually like that, but it actually brings me joy, because they stay alive. If you get to carry them with you, the grief goes lighter.”
Make a plan for following up. The first year after a loss is full of holidays and milestones that can be fresh sources of sadness. Calendar reminders can help managers remember to check in with employees on their first Mother’s or Father’s Day without a parent, the first birthday or anniversary, and so on, Clifford says. There’s no perfect phrasing, and there doesn’t need to be. “The fact that you’re acknowledging it and allowing space for somebody to talk about it truly can make a world of difference to that person in that moment,” he says. “When you talk about building loyalty, when you talk about building a culture…it’s got to be built on actions like that.”
To move beyond a traditional bereavement policy to better support and retain your employees after a loss, talk to your benefits advisor.